LIVING IN THE SMALL STORIES

In the back of my mind, living a good story has always meant being good at stuff. Meaning, you can only live an epic tale of you excel at things and people notice you for them. When you do big things in a big way, that's when your story will be important.

I think a lot of you are under the impression that I have it all together, and I can't decide if that makes me want to laugh or cry. Because it's far from true, like peek of Jonas brothers popularity far from true.

 I've always been behind. A lot of people call it a late bloomer, but I think I just wander off the trail to look at weeds and pick up granola bar wrappers a lot. I've never felt in much of a hurry. This has been a blessing and a big downfall. I've never been good at sports, I've never been good at school either. The school  part I could be good at if I didn't stop to look at weeds so much. The sports thing is an alien to my two left feet and hyper active imagination. I'm twenty two years old and I don't have my drivers license. Most people gasp and ask "how do you live?" "I just do." I always tell them.

 I'm not sure what exactly it is about my life that has made me a tortuous in a race against cheetahs. But I do know that the sum of our experiences say a lot less about who we are than we like to think they do. I think it's easy to fall back on what's happened to us to define who we are now. But the stuff that happens in between winds up writing our story more than anything else.

 No one comes home from a movie and talks about the big moments, they talk about the little scenes in between. They remember the nonchalant talk the characters had while filling up gas or standing by a locker, the line they said that subtly changed the mood. People walk away from movies picking apart the little scenes, in a way thinking they were a secret, that they're the only ones who caught it. We cling to the little scenes. The ones that latch onto us and for some reason make us want to live a better story. We leave movies rooting for the underdog scenes. No one really cheers for the big dramatic climax. It's the same with our real lives too. 

 A week after we've seen the movie we've already forgotten that. And we're asked to talk about our lives so we write down all the climaxes, all the parts that everyone stood up for, pointed at. And we forget the little moments that made us want to be better to begin with.

When I think back, all of the times that made me live a better story were when I jumped out of the big climatic one I thought I was supposed to be living, got off the trail and looked at some weeds.