It's the 2nd of May, the sun is knocking on my windows like it needs me to know its here. Everything is becoming. The earth is painting itself colored again, in a really loud way. The sky has put its favorite t shirt back on, and it fits just right. Hearts are thawing, so are grudges. People are letting go again. The cold is foreign against skin, a tourist in a town that's never known shiver. The warmth is grinning with charm knowing it gets our attention again.
And I am sitting here re-writing the definitions the cold crafted within me. Re-wording the edges that sharpened from the below freezing mornings. Softening the bitterness I harvested and holding my grudges up to the sun to melt. Allowing them to shrink back to the size they were before I gave them space to grow. I am apologizing to my grip for all the things it has held onto. I am not attempting to be a highlight reel anymore, not a silver screen version of reality, rather a person.
I am just trying to master the art of being human. The kind that tries to be better. I am trying to master falling apart but laughing, running away but finding my own solid ground. I'm trying to craft my conscience to be a clever place- somewhere I feel comfortable keeping things.
These days I am writing to my pain, we have always gotten along better long distance. The space between us gives me room to kill the time it took from me, replace it with better things. I tell it I hope it has found a way to shape shift, to become gentle, kind, softer. I hope it has. I hope we all find ways to shape shift and become better versions of ourselves. I hope that for everyone, I really do.
The pure and witty toes of May are dancing on green grass and they're not afraid to get stains- the water is warm enough to wash them away now. I'm so glad.