How can I navigate being human using just my heart? Using just my battered, introverted, tired, horribly mismatched, and bizarre patchwork heart.
How different would it be, being a human? If I just ignored my brain for awhile, ignored all of its naggy criticisms and suggestions for how to be a human. I'm already having a hard enough time with it. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't think we were designed to be good at this human thing. I mean, we have sin woven into our dna for Petes sake. Here's what I'm learning- through awkward and inconvenient growing pains- We aren't here to be exemplary humans, we're here to be crooked, loving disciples.
And when we get so caught up in figuring out how to be the best human we can be- I think we've blown out the fire. What we should be more concerned with is our heart. That's where we tend to leave all our crap behind to deal with later.
Jesus was a smart guy but he never told people how to be human- news flash, he already knew we weren't great at it, he wasn't about to snap his finger and change us. He liked us in our messy, in our try, in our fall flat on our butts. He just showed up and loved in a way only he could, and hoped that we'd pick up on his teachings with our hearts instead of our heads.
Unfortunately, we cannot ignore our naggy sinful thoughts in quite the way that Jesus could, but we can show people our hearts. When we do that, we show them Jesus, in the purest, most us way possible. We show them love through the brokenness of our very own unique and painful human experience. When we let people love us in that way, we love ourselves a little bit more.
Our hearts are the ones who maintain who we are when we're most alive. The little seemingly insignificant moments when we feel less like a human with sin and regret and more like one with a big flashing purpose. Our heads are just the gullible little dweebs who get themselves sucked into the big circulating infomercial that is our society.
So what would it look like to get out of your head a little bit- to un memorize some of the rules you thought you needed, step away from the opinions and suggestions and criticisms you thought would transform things. What if you just sat down, felt your heart beating and decided that today, that was enough. That no opinion or judgement or force of this world can be enough. It is so much less important to live in human flesh and know every answer than to live in human flesh and know your heart. Knowing your heart blows every piece of information out of the water.
It isn't your job to transform things, it's your job to have your battered and weird human heart, and to love people even when it hurts. That's what's woven into our dna.