God doesn’t tell us we can’t mess up. He has never once said that we aren’t allowed to fall apart, to make complete fools of ourselves, to lose sight of things. In fact He fully expects us to make mistakes- His only request is that we run to Him after we have. I picture God like this; A jolly, happy man built of pure contentment sitting on a reclining chair up in heaven, holding a bottle of root beer in his hand. He’s just posted up looking down on us, belly laughing to himself. He is so proud of his children. And when we stray from Him, He watches as we do and smirks a little bit knowing that He will pull us back.
I think there is so much living to be found in the getting pulled back, the in between of running from mistakes and running to God. In that gap we find out so many things about ourselves. When we finally get removed from a situation that wasn’t bettering us but we’re not quite to the place of contentment, we build a piece of character. We find so much character in the times that are uncomfortable, the times that hurt, the times that make us want to crumple into a ball and hide away. God finds us there. Character follows.
The number one mistake we as a human race make is believing that we are in control. I could sit here and tell you alllllllll about control and how you think you have a grip on things, but at some point for every single one of us it happens something like this: One day you’ve got kindred friends, a forever type of relationship, a knack for school, a job you actually kind of enjoy- and you’re thinking to yourself, “Man, I’ve really got this whole life thing on lockdown, nothing could go wrong.” And then it does.
God rips the rug out from right underneath our feet and gives us character to stand on instead. And we can’t understand why He would want to take so many good things from us, why He is making us hurt like this, why He would want us to start from scratch. We can’t wrap our mind around the pain.
On paper everything was peachy, not a thing out of place, but there was no room for God in the silences in between. He wasn’t filling the cracks where our humanness fell short and we were falling into them.
I am learning that He does this thing where He takes good things away from us when we've placed all of our focus on them and not on Him. He stops us in our tracks and shows us who we are. Sometimes it takes getting our worlds turned upside down to realize that this isn't our world after all.
And then He starts from scratch.