NORTHERN LIGHTS

I imagine my body floating through the milky way

learning the rhythms of the northern lights

so it can be just as gentle as they are

just as beautiful, just as colored and rare

I imagine being weightless, but important

feeling every knuckle brush against the sky, pulling clouds out of my hair

and stars out from under my fingernails

watching as my legs look like just that, legs but my heart no longer a concept

but a pile of things, laid out in front of me

a vast and moving pile, of all the people I have hurt and all the people who have hurt me

remnants of the people I have tried to be and the personalities that fit like bad wigs

I let the happy times, the sunshine days, the moonlit dances sift through my hands and I am warm

I want to stay there forever

I want to be the northern lights after everyone looks away, the show that has more

the beauty after all the colors have sunken into the night sky