YOU TURNED MY POETRY TO SAP

My journal sent in its two weeks notice because I haven’t touched it in days

I’m too busy touching the stars, catching the light they drip in jars that I use to light my intentions

I’m too busy wrapping my head around you, figuring out your every detail like you’re a crime scene investigation

that slid by without being on the news

I’ve been working overtime trying to solve your fears

writing up equations, mixing chemicals in plastic cups under my bed by the light of the moon

I’m searching for an instruction manual to your heartbeat

I want to know everything I can to make you happy, to rewrite the parts of your story when you were told you weren’t enough

Water the parts in you that you haven’t quite figured out how to love, yet

For you to understand that I have been clapping for the parts of you that you don’t even realize you’d forgotten about

Grinning at your mistakes like they’re god damn rain drops in the middle of a drought

I am so overly thrilled to be caught in your storm

You could do everything wrong and I would still jump to my feet, giving a standing ovation until my hands started to bruise

I would hitchhike across the country, climb one hundred mountains, wear holes in my knees and then reach up and grab a piece of the sky 

Carry it back to you 

Just so you know that you are the very thing that keeps me on my feet

the ounce of mystery that keeps me staring at the stars, reminding me that I’m not done figuring things out

You are the one good song during rush hour,

a firework display without all the noise, a beautiful thing that never asks for attention

You’re a room filled with nothing but people smiling, I’m learning not to be so cynical

about life, mostly

You’re a paperclip holding together the parts of me that I had once taken a nail gun to, I’m learning to be gentle

The very core of your being is made of lightning bolts and you’re shocking me awake 

to this life that I thought I’d already been living, 20 years in the making

I’m seeing this world now, wide eyed and bushy tailed, stretching my arms wide, touching everything I see

I am a little girl again, pouring honesty out of everything I turn upside down

I am turning everything upside down

I’m staring at the ocean and I’m listening to the people

I’m finding home everywhere 

And if anybody asks, the return address is wherever you are