MY THANK YOU LETTER TO MY BODY

This is my long overdue thank you to my knees
their stillness
holding up my storms
the hospital beds of angry
each under exaggerated love my hands could have reached out and touched
To my hands
for holding on
when there was nothing but the threads of my own sadness to hang from
the cold of my touch grabbing for air that only suffocated my words
when the landing beneath was safer than sticking around
thank you for feeling
when my heart was too numb to step out of the door
mingle with the floor, one step after the other
To my arms
for making a home out of broken pieces
throwing them up in the sky and confusing constellations for all of my tragedies
Cradling my own shiver when poems couldn’t even make me pretty
To my lips
for silence
words tucked inside that should never see light
pressed onto a piece of paper
for speaking
when the world needed to hear something better
even if I was the only one listening
to my ears
for not leaving when they heard my lies
mostly to myself
Years spent convincing them that they were hearing me right
the truth coming out of my mouth not just a well dressed lie
To my ribs
for being a liferaft to my heart
catching its pieces as they fell from disaster my mouth chose to label as love
housing the reason for my destruction
New walls every night rebuilding the mess of tortured souls I was convinced could get better
Tore me down
To my heart
thank you for bleeding so much
Tides so strong my tears show up in rivers across the country
I’ve never wished I didn’t feel so much
just hurt a little less
But your clumsy rhythm kicks in at just the right time
And I’m reminded that I’m existing with the moon
and the truth
And all the songs that make people feel better
The changes of weather
New conversations
And adventures worth taking
I exist with the laughs and the hearts
Beating
Breathing
The lives creating 

I exist
With life