EMPTY SPACES

As beings filled with ever expanding lungs and the capacity to love another soul so much it hurts

it is in our nature to fill empty spaces

With half hearted words and goodnights that we wish could be forevers

phone calls ending in see you later when you want to scream that

they’re heartbeat is the reason you wake up in the morning

And you know that they keep old photographs of their siblings tucked in pockets of their wallet

I never got used to the way you said my name

“Katharine”

All I could ever hear was a thunderstorm 

Exploding like fireworks on the fourth of July

And then crickets

Like a Summer night in June when the lighting bugs lit up my mason jar

Filled with everything, you

You were everything good and blissful and brave

I tugged at your heart strings like the guitar I never learned how to play

In 8th grade

When my shoelaces were tied tighter than my courage 

And I didn’t listen when every teacher told me that the sun would burn me if I touched it

I tocuhed the sun that summer when your smile was pressed against my hand

And I swear you burned a hole through me that day

I haven’t been able to touch anything since

Without feeling numb in the spots you poured moonshine on

Like those times we danced under the sky

Singing to the moon like it was some sort of walkie talkie

That would “Roger that”

Whisper back to us

And tell us of how true we were

How real and infinite our legs were, far above the ground beneath us

Tangling our hair in tree tops and clouds that couldn’t identify our names 

Because we were too busy laughing at hummingbirds, wacking their heads into trees below us

Like they knew love was going to hurt 

We knew it would hurt

Seeing what lied behind Hallmark and boxes of chocolates

Where the soul feels before hands and goosebumps on skin

I still never listen when people tell me I will get burned

But the scars on my body aren’t in the form of bruises and burns

They’re laugh lines and dimple marks, tear stains and remember whens 

Sketched on my skin telling me 

My ribs are shifting for the right reason