DISTANCE

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
More like distance rubs against my skin like sandpaper and tugs at my ribcage relentlessly until it reaches the corner of my pounding heart
Pulling and pushing until it’s three in the morning and nothing feels right
And nothing could possibly feel okay until his breath is against your neck
The sheets of your bed feel like betrayal and sleep becomes a thing of the past
Every quiver of a lip is him smiling about his favorite things
Your ear transforms into a telephone and phone lines become a rope tugging at your heart
His voice is the medicine you continue to wipe on your wounds
And coincidentally turn your wounds into pockets of pain and words left unsaid
The lonely stars in the sky light your tired eyes
While his truths start to sound a lot like lies
And his words turn to nothing but chatter
Miles turn into holes in your skin
And it no longer feels like you’re underneath the same sky
Even the moon whimpers of his betrayal
“Listen to your heart”
How the hell am I supposed to hear it over the ringing of my ears and the screaming of my lungs just trying to find something to grab onto besides the past
Memories are more slippery than a wet bar of soap and my hands can’t hold onto something that doesn’t exist
Please just exist with me
Scream across the power lines and city lights that you want to be the last line in my journal at night
That you want to memorize my lies and scribble them across my forehead when I begin to believe them
Tell me that you can hear my dreams dripping against your window when you can’t sleep
Stand on the very tippy top of your pride and say that you like the way I make you spit poems and laugh at people’s shoes
I need you to lift up your head and quiver something, anything out of your stubborn lips
Kiss me across the sky, tell the moon that you wish you could see my tired eyes tonight
Laugh with the sun about how it brought me to you
Or maybe, just maybe,
Convince yourself that your heart is no longer in your own hands