Compliments, Cruddy Boys, and a Punny Alter Ego

Hello Damsel!

I've been reading your blog for quite some time and have come to the conclusion that you speak to my soul completely. You have a way of painting with words that is utterly delightful! Even though I do not actually know you, I feel like I'm talking to an old friend when I read your writing. So I'm hoping you can help me out!

I am kind of cruddy at the whole relationship thing. I have a history of settling for poor treatment from the men I've dated. Relationships and almost-relationships, I am not very good at picking them. Maybe it's because I don't think it can be better for me, or because I always work so hard to see that good in others and that I make big problems in to small ones just to make it all seem good.

As I move into the real world of big adult things, I can't help but think about when I am going to find "the one." I want to know that good relationships exist and that it is possible to be completely head over heels in love, the way my little hopeless romantic heart wants it to be. So how do you stay patient? How can I stop giving the wrong people the most chances? How do you leave it up to God when you've had such bad luck in the past? I believe He has a plan, but how can I be reassured? I've got a lot of love to give and I just want to be able to give it to someone who will give it back.

PS Not to be weird but I hope the universe works it out so we can be friends someday. You seem like a lovely gal and an excellent type of friend!

Signed,

Anon A. Moose

My girl,

WHOA. Let me start by saying, SAME. I have battled with such similar things in my past. I’m optimistic to a fault. Meaning, I find the last tiny spec of good in people even if I have to hold up a microscope to see it. This has brought a lot of really good, unexpected people into my life, but it has also been a big downfall for me. As odd as it may sound, seeing the good in people can be dangerous. It can blind you entirely to the bad things, to the things that you should be protecting your precious heart from.

I am such a hopeless romantic and for so long I wondered when my big moment would come. I’d seek out little moments and read into EVERYTHING, just thinking that I was the one in control of finding my person. But, as He should, God gave me a good ole slap across the face and said, nah, I got this one girl.

I by no means consider myself a relationship guru. LOL. That’s a funny thought. But I do have my fair share of lessons that I can use as teaching points. I could sit here and tell you a lot of them, but I think the only one that you really need to hear is this; It will be easy. It will fall into your lap in a time that you’re least expecting it. You will suddenly feel lighter. Nothing about your relationship with God will be compromised, it will be strengthened, challenged. There won’t be any firey hoops to jump through or obstacle courses to memorize. You’ll just wake up one day and you’ll be there, in this spot that you never could have tried to envision. And you’ll be content. I know that something as vague as this feels like the worst answer you could get, but I mean it so deeply. And I know with so much certainty that He has something SO GOOD FOR YOU. WOW.

P.s. I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. Let’s do this thing.

Yours Truly,

The Damsel