Real Talk

I have this dream. In my dream I have a blog like yours, and I inspire people with my words and my realness. In this dream I express myself in a way that can touch other people.
Like all dreams, mine has a roadblock. I love to write, I write poetry, stories and basically everything. But lately, I've been.....having a hard time writing. And it's difficult for me to explain why. I think it's mostly because I'm afraid for some reason. Afraid that I'll hate what I create, that it won't be any good, that it will fall short of what I truly want to express. That I have nothing valuable to offer the world. And it's crippling me. What advice do you have? How can I keep writing even when I feel like it's awful? I don't want to give up on my dream. Could you tell me a little bit about your journey with writing? Thank you so much, your blog is wonderful and you have filled me with a hunger to create and find honesty today. 
Love,

Signed,

Olivia

My fellow writer,

YAY! This message makes me all kinds of giddy. I can't wait for your words to inspire people like they've inspired me today.

I'm going to start with a quote that hits home for me on writing;

“Sometimes you get a line, a phrase, sometimes you’re crying, or it’s the curve of a chair that hurts you and you don’t know why, or sometimes you just want to write a poem, and you don’t know what it’s about. I will fool around on the typewriter. It might take me ten pages of nothing, of terrible writing, and then I’ll get a line, and I’ll think, “That’s what I mean!” What you’re doing is hunting for what you mean, what you’re trying to say. You don’t know when you start.”

That’s what writing has been for me- the key to discovering the things I wanted to say but didn’t know how to. At a really really young age I started writing, I’d fill journals upon journals full of made up stories written in chicken scratchings. I’d become make believe people and I’d write in their voice, I’d make up rhymes and little songs and plays. I’d write whatever came to mind and I think eventually I realized in about as intelligent of a way a little kid can realize, that all of that added life to my days. I’d set down my journal and somehow feel like I’d discovered something, like I gained something new. And I was hooked. 

Writing took a different form for me in high school when I was diagnosed with depression. After that, writing wasn’t as much make believe and rhymes, it was a life raft keeping me from drowning. Being the happy person I am, I couldn’t make sense of any of the utter loneliness and sadness I was feeling. The only times I saw glimpses of clarity were when I was writing. Even if the words didn’t make much sense, even if they were smudged by tears and lost their order- I learned something in each of them. I picked up a new piece of strength with each comma and because of writing I knew that things were somehow going to be okay. 

Nowadays, my writing is still all of those things to me. It keeps me afloat, it gives me a place to be 300% myself, a place to be an utter mess and a place to act like I’m put together too. As soon as I’m finished writing and I read what I just wrote, I say to myself, “YES. That’s what I was trying to say.” I am able to articulate my actual heart in a way that I believe only writing has the ability to do. 

The best advice that I could give you is this;

When you think you don’t have anything important to say, you do. You always do. And people need to hear what you have to say, they’ll be so much better from it. 

When you think your writing is bad, it might be. Keep writing. If I quit writing when my writing was bad I never would have started writing to begin with. It’s always going to be bad, but that’s how you plow through to the gold, to the stuff that’s going to change you, and change others.

When you’re scared to write, write. That’s when the best paths to bravery uncover themselves.  

Now go write and change those hearts, my girl!

Yours Truly,

The Damsel