The Hidden Struggle

Hi, I'm going to remain anonymous because we have never met before and this is something very personal.. I have been struggling through an eating disorder since I was in junior high, recently it has come to an all time low and I don't know which way to turn. Reading your blogs and your poems have helped me. You are not only gorgeous on the outside but, you have such a beautiful soul. I just want you to know, although you may not have advice.. that what you wrote below, I have read and repeated in my head daily to get myself through the days.. 

1. Being complacent and uninterested will never make you cool. In fact, get rid of the word cool in your vocabulary all together, it’s a made up definition and should only be used when you’re talking about being cold in the winter. 

2. Blending into the background will always be easier, but nothing will come from it. It hurts to make yourself seen, but you’ll never get anywhere if you keep laying in your comfy little safety net. 

3. Grabbing hold of a passion and running after it with all the ridiculous, exaggerated dreams that come along with it will carry you miles further than you will ever get if you just keep sitting on your couch. 

4. Loving people instead of fighting them is the fastest way to love yourself. Our relationships with others are a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. When you learn to love other people without an agenda, loving yourself without one too will be quick to follow.

5. Learn to be loud without making noise. Get comfortable with stretching your arms as wide as you can without bumping into things. Become big with the way you live, not with the things you say or the spaces you fill.

6. The times you feel the most lonely are the times you most desperately need yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company.

7. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea or pot of coffee- Be unrelentingly kind to people always, but don’t spread yourself thin. Invest more of yourself into relationships that really matter.

 

My sweet sweet friend,

I read this message a couple of months ago when you sent it, and I wish I had a better excuse for why I’ve been so late to reply to all these advice messages, but the only answer I have is, life. Which I know you guys all understand, but I needed you to know especially how much this message sunk into my heart, how many times it surfaced in my head and how many times I thought about how to answer in a way that would make you feel as organically loved as you are. 

This is all I can tell you, my girl; You have beauty that is deep and rooted in a truth that I know is unfathomable for you right now. That truth comes straight from the heart of the man who crafted every detail of you, the man who breathed life into your perfect bones and orchestrated the quirks in your incomparable personality. He gave you your passions and your most ridiculous desires. In his eyes there is not one single flaw about you. I hope you can find peace in that and slip into your skin comfortably knowing that you are the way you are for a bigger reason. I know it hurts, and I know that it feels out of your control sometimes, but just know that those words aren’t ungrounded. My heart is standing behind each one of them with puppy dog eyed hope that you will read them and know the type of beautiful you are. 

Yours Truly,

The Damsel