Hi Damsel,

I was in a 6 month relationship with a guy and fell in love. Like a deep, hard love. I have never loved anyone in such a way before. Last weekend, I woke up around 2 AM and he was still awake - the questions of me wondering why he threw his phone on the bed to hide it as soon as he realized I woke up made me question.. So, what did I do? I figured out his password the next morning in which I found many messages on FB messenger & Tinder with multiple girls. About three weekends ago, he had a girl over when I was out with my girls. That night I woke up, he was messaging a girl about hanging out with her that weekend when he knew I had plans to be with my girls - he is sitting there, constantly, 24/7 messaging me and asking for me back. That he is sorry. He does it because he is insecure. I don't know what to do. He is threatening death. Please help. xoxo


Alter Ego

Hey there,

My sweet, sweet girl. I am so sorry. I am sorry that this man was too blind to see the precious gift he had in you. That he took your beautiful love and threw it around like it was confetti at a child's birthday party. He does not deserve you. You are bold, and rare, and good, and worthy of a love that makes you feel alive. That is not what this is. I know that it’s so hard to see right now, it is so hard to see through what your heart feels. What you felt and what you feel right now are both valid. You have a right to feel exactly what you feel. Always. It’s easy right now to think that he is everything you want. How could you not? You invested so much of yourself into him, into caring for him, into loving him.

When you love someone, it’s natural to think this threshold of love is as far as you can go. But just think, if you could love him this much, think of how much you you will be able to love someone who treats you right, who knows the special heart that you will entrust him with.

My girl, one day you will look back and you will shake your head. You will say with your chin held high, “I am worth so much more.” You are.

So for now, pick up your heart, your battered and confused heart, hold it in your arms, and walk away. You owe him nothing. It is going to be okay.

Yours Truly,

The Damsel